Why I Became a Travel Agent: My Story & Passion for Travel
Hey Momma Girl, I wanted to take time out to tell you my story, tell you who I am and why I function the way I do. It took me a while to accept my story for what it is. And I do not want that for you. Every Momma Girl has their own story, their own truth that make them, them. Let me tell you, it is nothing to be ashamed of. It is your steppingstone, your foundation for you to use to help other women learn to love their stories. And not only love them but thrive in them. If you are stuck in that dark place, that space where you feel like you can’t move, you can’t function, you can’t grow. I’m here to tell you, you can and you must. So, grab your water and popcorn, and enjoy story time darling!
I am a single mother, and contrary to the trending parenting style of the day, I did not grow up wanting to be a single mother. I was brought up in a traditional home. My definition of traditional is a home with Christian values, a mother, and a father. Both working, both sane, both providing stability and both raising their children, who in my case was my sister and me. In my house the message was, as it related to sex, no sex until marriage…period. And that message partnered with the visual aid provided by my school system gave me my initial idea of sex. Simply put, sex was bad, disgusting, absolutely not happening until I got married, and even if I got married, still wasn’t happening (haha). And I lived in that mindset until I had sex.
To give you a deeper understanding of my mental space requires further backstory. So, growing up, I did not have the type of relationship with my parents where I told them everything that was happening in my life. In fact, I told them nothing, I only made conversation about what was going on when I wanted something or when they found out something and I had to confess; and most of the time instead of being truthful I lied, until I was made to tell the truth, sad but true. Said all that to say, I never told my parents that I wanted to have sex, or even that I was having sex after I started.
Now we can come forward a little bit. When did I lose my virginity? Girl, I tell you, I was either 17 or 18, my first relationship out of high school. By then most of my friends already had sex and were telling me all the things, so I said, lets join the band wagon, because at this point what man is a virgin (I know you thinking, girl your logic! Yep, me to, but it was mine, I own it, and it is what it is, moving on). So, I had sex, repeatedly. I became a pro (in my mind), and I knew (in my opinion) all I needed to know. In fact, Iwas so good (so I thought), I didn’t need to use protection. I “trusted” my partner, I “loved” my partner (so I thought), and I felt like we both had an understanding that babies were not the goal, just the pleasure. Time goes by, move out of my parents’ home, feeling my grown woman status, getting ready to explore the world to the fullest extent, still having sex… and now I am pregnant.
So, you already know my communication level with my parents, trash. I’m scared, and all this guilt starts hitting me all at once! I not only did I have to tell my parents that I was sexually active, I had to tell them that they are now getting ready to have another grandchild. My sister already had a child out of wedlock, and I wanted to be the golden child, the child that made it to her wedding day (as far as they knew). God said, “yeah, no!” And if that bomb wasn’t enough, because I was living in my “grown woman ego mindset,” (Momma Girl I was really feeling myself, you couldn’t tell me nothing! And because you couldn’t tell me anything) I was having unprotected sex with more than one man at the time I got pregnant. Did you say Maury episode, Girl beyond that! So, to recap, now I’m no longer the golden child (never really was), no matter how many tests I take they all say pregnant (oh, boy), I have to tell everyone, and I don’t know who the daddy is (boom)! Chile, I busted that perfection, angel, golden child persona wide open. Full blown atomic bomb!
That was a lot for me to process, and now I have decisions to make, that I never wanted to make unmarried. With that being said, I became depressed. I felt stupid. I beat myself up on a regular basis. There were no happy thoughts. If you ask me today, what’s it like being pregnant, I would not be able to tell you the joys of pregnancy because I had none. If you are not a Momma Girl, and are reading this because we’re emotionally related, let me tell you, that it is work, hard work, your body is going through a lot to make sure by the end of your pregnancy, you have a healthy, happy baby. So, between mental frustration and my body working overtime to make this baby, I was tired. And my body gave out on me. I ended up developing pre-eclampsia. Which is an auto-immune disease. And if I remember correctly, no one knows why it develops, it just does, and there is no cure for it except to have the baby. Now, keep all this in mind and know, that I still have not dealt with any of the emotional trauma of this situation. We’re still adding to this no subtractions yet. Ok? Ok! Moving on…
I have my daughter, she’s pre-mature, 28 weeks, she weighed 2 pounds 3 ounces and was 13 inches long. She was a tinny tiny little thing, but she was a fighter. During her time in NICU, the only issues she had was breathing, but glory to God, when she came home, she came home with nothing, no machines, no medications, nothing! I thank God for the fight that she has in her, she still has that strong will to this day (side note: if you pray for that will in your child understand what you are praying for, Ima leave it at that). But going back to my story, so after I had her, I was dealing with everything that came with premature babies and babies in general (breastfeeding, clothes, diapers, etc.), had to find out who her father was and figuring out how to co-parent (because I didn’t have sex with myself to create this baby, so I’m not raising her by myself), still needed to be on my “humbled” grown woman status in taking care of my home, and I still was carrying the weight of all the emotional damage of my picture perfect fantasy being blown to nothingness. I was going through, honey!
I stayed in my dark place, in my compacted soil, if you will, for almost 10 years. Most of my twenty’s, I was bitter, hateful, and regretful; spending precious brain power and time dwelling on a fantasy, on a life I would never have. The life I dreamed of since I was young was now broken, shattered. And I spent years wishing, hoping I could get it back. It got to the point where I told myself that I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t enjoy my life because this life was not good enough. I wasn’t good enough. I told myself that fun was never going to be a part of my life again, and there was no use in trying because who can have fun as a single mother. Momma Girl,I believed those lies, because my mind was so fixated on the things of the past, that I was missing the beautiful picture of the future God already had lined up for me.
You know what’s funny? When you feel like you lost it all, God shows up and shows out to the point where you don’t even miss what you lost. But the thing is, you must allow Him the chance to prove His strength in your life. You must give Him the broken pieces, the mess from your atomic bomb explosion, and allow Him to not only fix it, but make it better, stronger, grander. And so, that’s what I did. I gave my life back to Christ Jesus, and I said “God, fix it, because clearly I have no idea what I am doing, and if I keep going, it will only get worse.” And God said “Chile, I know, gimme that, now do this.” And I must say that God has been showing me how to live ever since. He’s showing me how to go through challenges, obstacles, and tough spaces and thrive. Momma Girl we were never meant to stay in the dark place, were supposed to live through it.
Take a seed. When you plant it in the soil, its confined, restricted, it’s in its dark place, but what does it do? You water it, and it grows roots, it uses the soil, its dark place, its confined space to grow, to build to get stronger. And after a while, what happens? It breaks free, it thrives, it lives. And that’s what I want for you. I want you to live momma girl, to experience your life to the fullest, no matter what your situation is. I want you to grow, to thrive, not only for you but for your baby(ies) too. I don’t want you to feel like fun is no longer in your vocabulary. I don’t want you to feel like your life is over. When in fact, the next chapter of your life, is just beginning. You can still do the things you love; it just might require a shift in the way you used to do them. If you love traveling, keep traveling. If you love going out and doing things in your community, keep doing that. If you love doing random projects around your house, keep doing them. Whatever brings you joy, don’t stop doing it. Don’t let your situation define what your life is going to be. You speak to your situation and tell it who you are and where you are going and move through it!
How does all of this relate to me and becoming a travel agent? Well, I’ll tell you. Travel was my thing, is my thing! I wanted to travel the world and explore new places, and once I got pregnant and went through all the things, that was one of the things that I felt like I could no longer do. Like I would never have that opportunity again in life. And that hurt me. Until that day when God said he had me, and I could still do all the things and so now I travel, and I bring my baby with me. Because I am passionate about travel, my uncle introduced me to a travel company, that helped me become a travel agent and here we are. Jaime the traveler who helps others travel, your travel agent! And I am loving every minute of it. And I want you to experience this life, this adventure with me. There are so many companies, some of which I did not know about until becoming a travel agent, that have the same goal I do of helping me explore the world and create memories. And because I am no gate keeper, I am sharing them with you, to inspire you to do the same thing.
Momma Girl, I love you. Please hear my heart, I hope it is as loud as my voice is when you listen to me on the YouTube and the Podcasts, as you read. I want you thriving in this life. I want your babies to have first-hand knowledge of what it means to thrive and continue to live out all your dreams regardless of your current, temporary, situations. I say this because the thought of your life not being good enough, you not being good enough is a lie. And I refuse to let you continue to sit in it. So, use this message to water your spirit, your seed, stretch those roots, and thrive. In closing, I will say what I always say, choose to make life an experience and experience the life that you choose. Don’t. Just. Exist. LIVE! Till next time Momma Girl, peace.
